Thursday, February 15, 2018

Live, Laugh, Speak

     I am bilingual. I speak both English and an Indian language called Telugu. I learned both English and Telugu together ever since I was a child so I am fluent in both. But what is difficult to maintain is a balance between the situation and amount I use each language.
     My first language, I would say, is Telugu because although I am better at speaking English, my parents, who were born in India, probably spoke to me in Telugu because they weren't as good at speaking English. I only speak Telugu when I am either in India or when I am around more Telugu people such as my family or people at Indian parties. When I speak Telugu in India, it is hard the first few days because I just traveled from a place where English is the language that I communicate in with everyone, to a place where not many people understand English. After a couple days, I adjust to my surroundings and fluently speak Telugu. As I adjust to my environment in which I am surrounded by people who speak Telugu, I start to use Telugu slang and speak in a more informal tone. I let myself go free and crazy because I know that my grandparents and relatives won't judge me. They know that I am a fun person to be around so they have gotten used to my craziness. I feel free and joyful when I speak Telugu in India but it is different in America.
     That brings me to my second language; Telugu in America. Especially at a time like now, it is difficult to speak Telugu in a public setting without being judged. Although I am a fun and easygoing person, I am sometimes self-conscious of what people think of me when I am in a public setting. In American, my Telugu is more filtered and limited. I rarely speak it in public because I am afraid of being judged or discriminated against. When I talk to my family in America, I tend to use either a mix of English and Telugu or just English. I feel restrained as to what I can say and how I can express myself.
     English, my third language, is one of my favorites. When I speak English with my friends, teachers, or family, I feel free and alive. I feel like I could say anything and everything I want to say because people understand me and know that I am a fun and easy going person. Although I respect my teachers very much and should filter more of my craziness around them, I feel like I can tell them anything because of their accepting and fun personalities. Obviously I have a more filtered use of language and tone around highly respected people and in front of judges but usually, I complain a lot and say random things. My friends, I think, think that I am crazy. My unfiltered personality around them is very fun for me and my friends. I feel like my crazy and their crazy combine to create the perfect friendship.

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